Can you stop being gay

A lesbian couple were attacked on a London bus in a suspected hate crime which shocked the country. This is why I am interested in Mike. Is he motivated by homophobia, or does he actually think he's helping people who don't want to be gay?

And if he is, is that OK? And so Mike simulates one of his therapy sessions with me. He asks me if I've had any past trauma. I reply that when I was younger I was bullied for being ginger, and as I grew older I was bullied for being gay. I tell him about a time when someone kicked me at the bus stop. Then I ask him if he has a theory as to why that would make me gay.

He replies: "I don't think any one thing gives people same-sex attraction… but if that's your existence at school, it's bullying. And I'm not surprised that maybe you become distant from other males. His voice is soft, he's sympathetic and for the most part this feels like a normal therapy session, but it isn't. I remind myself that he isn't a real psychotherapist. I know I'm here as a reporter but I'm vulnerable - this is all so personal. The government says that over half of those that offer this are faith groups - not just Christian - and although Mike operates in Northern Ireland, it happens across the UK.

He's gay and Christian - his granny used to be a preacher and the church is a huge part of life where he lives. He tells me that in Northern Ireland your religion isn't just a faith, it's part of your identity. He remembers how one day at his church he walked past a rack of pamphlets.

He's experienced a lot of homophobia. As he walks around town, people regularly shout abuse and he was recently spat at.

So he says he understands, in a way, why someone might feel they want to turn to conversion therapy. However, the consequences of doing so can be extremely harmful. Former Christian singer Vicky Beeching spent most of her life trying to suppress her own attraction to women and tried various forms of gay conversion therapy, from prayer and exorcisms to talking therapy.

One day she noticed strange white patches on her skin. She went to the doctor and she was told she had developed an auto-immune disease called scleroderma. They said they believed trauma and stress and specifically my journey with suppressing my sexuality and all the shame around that, they believed that led to all these problems with my immune system," she says. Vicky sold millions of records worldwide, including her hit, Above All Else, which she says in hindsight perhaps perfectly sums up her willingness to suppress her own sexuality for Jesus's love.

She has since written a book explaining why she believes you can be both a Christian and gay. But almost 30 years later, in , he made headlines with a research study in which people reported successfully changing their orientations. By then, same-sex attraction was no longer officially viewed as a vile perversion or crime.

And then, in , Spitzer announced that his conclusions had been unwarranted. Many of these men and women were deeply religious and eager to be straight; many had been referred by groups that considered same-sex attraction a disorder.

The self-reports, by phone, were of changed behavior, not changes in their deepest feelings and impulses. What had been presented as science might have been wishful thinking. Michael Bussee, one of the co-founders of Exodus International, also apologized. The counselor was in another town, and Galloway and his parents made the long, strained drive in their minivan.

But first they had to fill out intake forms. And the counselor wanted to talk to his parents. Galloway sat in the waiting room, surrounded by Christian pamphlets, and tried to breathe evenly.

When their hour was up and it was finally his turn, he described the fatigue weighing him down, the sadness that turned everything bleak.

He stayed calm and soft-spoken, almost monotone—was that a therapy thing? Galloway decided that it must be. He was to pray daily to feel more secure as a man. Be bolder in social situations.

Adopt a more masculine persona and learn to frame things in a masculine way. He tried to do all of it, but what sounded easy on paper was almost impossible in practice. And how, again, was he supposed to seem more masculine? He believed them. Ryan has identified more than signs of rejection or acceptance that parents, often unwittingly, give a nonheterosexual teenager.

After therapy started, Galloway tried to avoid those family outings. When his parents insisted, his presence was a lead weight, sinking their cheerful little boat. His little brother must have wondered at the shift: All the joking around had skidded to a halt, and his brother had gone quiet, lost inside himself. Some of his best memories were the times they played with action figures, Batman especially.

He slept whenever possible. His grades slid lower. Emotional storms rose up fast, like tornadoes in the Dust Bowl. The gay community supported pedophilia, the counselor said. They were all about pedophilia and incest, and they were dying of AIDS left and right. I especially appreciate that you told others they are loved and important- so true! Boston College Libraries. BC Home Mission Feedback. Search the Library Submit Search. How do I stop being gay?

It really sucks. There is no simple answer to this question, as it varies from person to person. Deciding you are gay often happens gradually, it may not be something you can initially put a name to, and it can feel very confusing.

During research carried out with young gay men in the UK, the men interviewed described a set of feelings which they gradua View More on Twitter. Issues and Issues Today are used primarily by librarians and teachers to help their students gain a better understanding of the world around them and the issues which affect their lives. Issues Online is a full web based resource enhancing and supplementing the pshe subjects and topics used in the Issues and Issues Today publications.

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