It takes a great deal of humility to ask co-workers for feedback and to truly listen. First, I suggest you do a self-assessment of both your technical and interpersonal skills. Then, find someone who will give you honest feedback, and listen. If after your assessment you discover you need to change, follow these four steps for navigating crucial conversations -- high-stakes, politically risky or emotionally volatile situations -- in a way that generates results and improves relationships.
Change your emotions. In stressful moments, separate people from the problem. Try to see others as reasonable, rational and decent human beings -- even if your opinions clash. Jerks don't bother with this principle -- they make harsh judgments of others and act out those judgments through mistreatment.
Help others feel safe. Jerks disguise their harshness as brutal honesty. They do both by starting high-stakes conversations by assuring the other person of their positive intentions and their respect. When others feel respected and trust your motives, they let their guard down and begin to listen -- even if the topic is unpleasant. Present just the facts. Respected leaders describe problems in factual terms -- stripping out the negative labels and punitive conclusions commonly used by jerks.
Without the facts, judgmental statements are far from motivating and create animosity and resistance. Invite dialogue. To Read the Full Story. Subscribe Sign In. Continue reading your article with a WSJ membership. Resume Subscription We are delighted that you'd like to resume your subscription.
Please click confirm to resume now. Sponsored Offers. This is a phenomenon that has not gone unnoticed throughout generations. Loud, outspoken people tend to get all the spoils , be it women, promotions, etc. As mentioned, there is already research backing this phenomenon up. But now, we have even more insight. As it turns out, it may all boil down to how well we are able to effectively communicate, or sell, our ideas and creativity.
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