It has to be equal in value to what each party contributes. If this is what you are seeking from someone else, go ahead and give them a chance if they show signs of giving back equally as much. Love is meant to come without pain. You deserve to experience that great feeling of love that comes with growth as individuals and mutual satisfaction in a relationship with another person who loves you too!
When we are in love, all we can see are beautiful things. We yearn for sweetness and affection. We also look for the tangible ways in which our feelings can be represented. Because of these cravings, we tend to set expectations on how love can be exercised, and we end up getting hurt whenever these are not met. Indeed, feeling frustrated is normal, but there is no need to wallow in the pain brought by failed expectations. This is because love comes in different forms and ideas, and it is up to us how to interpret it to keep us happy and content.
According to a popular saying, the greatest form of love is the one that is unrequited. This is can be very painful, mainly because this blocks you from doing expressing your feelings for that person. Worse, you do not get the same kind of love from that person in return. Whenever you fall into such a state, it is best to keep in mind that true love is one that does not ask for anything in return. True love allows you to be happy and content with what you can give despite the limitations, and not demand anything else.
Love makes us selfless. It drives us to give everything, such as patience, effort, and respect. But as we go along with the flow of loving someone, there are also instances when we start to feel tired of our actions. Perhaps it is just a phase where we have to learn to take a step back and rest. When we give too much of ourselves, we also start to lose ourselves in the process.
We also tend to experience pain even when the person we love reciprocated our feelings. This occurs when we do not feel the comfort and contentment of the other party. While this can be easily addressed, not doing so may lead to other problems and even irreparable damage.
The reason behind this may be because as two different individuals, you and your partner have different concepts of love and how to express it. You may be yearning for sweetness and affection, while they are into the more practical aspects of love and relationships.
You two may want to sit down on this and talk things over so that you can find a common ground and express your feelings for each other in a rather complementary manner. Love, while it makes us happy and contented, also drives us to be greedy and selfish. There are many instances when we fight against our significant other because we want to get something, and we do our best to win in the argument. When we start to think only of ourselves and what we are getting, then we get hurt each time we fail in these petty fights.
Love is not only about getting, or only about giving. It is a two-way street where you give and take. This means you have to understand your partner and vice versa. You give way whenever necessary, take whatever is there without causing each other pain. Lasting relationships are not only made of love per se but of commitment and compromise. Staying true to these decisions are the things that usually keep us hanging on, no matter how hard the situation becomes in the long run.
However, love causes us the most pain once we lose it. This is when our partner gives up and no longer wishes to continue living with us. This is especially harrowing when we have not yet given up yet when we are still inspired to celebrate this love, but the person we should be celebrating this feeling with is no longer there. We are entitled to grieve whenever we experience this kind of pain. But along the grief, we should also learn to accept and rise up again, because life continues even as love fades.
We do not know what the future has in store, thus we have to prepare for it after going through the pain that this love had caused. This will also be the cure to grief and will be the only kind of love that will allow you to face life as a stronger and better person.
The pain love causes are as real as the euphoric emotion it evokes. I believe everyone who loves is going to get hurt at some level. Love is a necessary part of life.
However, when love hurts, that hurt can be excruciating. Why is it so painful to be in love? Why do people suffer when they fall in love or enter into a relationship? Why do they end up hurting and crying? Is suffering really inevitable when you love someone? Or is it a choice that can actually be avoided? It is wise to be aware of the common reasons why we suffer in love so we can learn how to deal with them and preserve the joy and happiness in our relationship.
They fear losing the one they love. They are afraid of being cheated on, fooled, or left with a broken heart. Fear and insecurities come when there are uncertainties. But if you really love someone, you have to be fearless. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Loving is knowing. Hence, if you really love your partner, you have to know him or her more as a person. To be happy in a relationship, you and your significant other should unite as one, not only in mind but also in heart. People suffer because they are not content with what they have. Thus, if you want to stop suffering, be grateful and treasure your current possessions. Liars always feel guilty and they have many sleepless nights.
The longer lies are hidden, the more they become painful. So if you want to suffer no more, let the truth set you free. Without trusting their partner, their mind will not be at ease. Having a few too many glasses of wine makes you less inhibited, fearful, and anxious, and more aggressive and boastful—and so does oxytocin, the "love hormone," according to a University of Birmingham study.
Researchers pooled existing research into the effects of both oxytocin and alcohol and although they impact different parts of the brain, they have similar outcomes. Your cheeks flush, palms sweat, and heart races. More Videos Love Stories: 'He was the love of my life' Before a big date, you might notice your heart rate tick up and your hands get sweatier.
It's not just a nervous tick that causes your anxiety to rise; it's actually the stimulation of adrenaline and norepinephrine, says Dr. Your pupils dilate. When you're attracted to someone—sitting across from you at the bar, on the street, laying in bed together—there is a stimulation in your nervous system's sympathetic branch, which causes your eyes to dilate, says Dr.
Go ahead, you can test it with your partner—it's fun! You may feel a little sick. It's normal to lose your appetite or feel uneasy when you've just started seeing someone new. That's your body's way of telling you that you really like that person. Kirk says. This usually fades over time as you become more comfortable with your boyfriend or girlfriend—but could also partially explain why many brides and grooms feel like they can't eat at their wedding.
Being in love might give you superpowers. Ever heard stories of panicked moms lifting cars off their trapped children? While it might seem insane that the combination of love and fear can give you sudden superhuman strength in an emergency, anecdotal evidence suggests it really can happen. It's pretty much impossible to scientifically research this phenomenon, called hysterical strength, because it's difficult to replicate those conditions for a study.
It's not just parents who have experienced hysterical strength; people who are in love have, as well. Move aside, Prince Charming—love will save the day. You won't be able to keep your eyes off your partner. There's a scientific reason why you have photos of your love set as your smartphone background or framed on your desk. The desire to literally look at your partner's face comes from the brain's release of dopamine, says Dr. In other words, when you scroll through photos from your vacation together, you get a surge of energy, as your desire is being fulfilled.
Your voice might actually get higher. Once you're past that crush stage and you're deepening your connection and commitment to your partner, you might notice other odd changes in your body—including your voice getting higher yes, really.
According to a study published in in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, researchers found that when women spoke to men they were more attracted to physically, their voice tended to get higher and more feminine. So if you're a bit softer with your partner than you are with your co-worker who keeps missing your deadlines, blame it on love.
You will worry when they're not around. When we're separated from our partner for brief or extended periods of time, we respond like a drug addict who is coming off of their addiction, says Serena Goldstein, a naturopathic doctor in New York City.
Those couples who are in long distance relationships learn to cope with this feeling, often through developing attachments to their partner's voice as a way to stay connected to him or her. It is the idealisation of the individual upon whom all your feelings are focused.
Again, this might seem very obvious. In that surrender, Hekster explains that we merge with that person in a way and become completely preoccupied with them to the point where they dominate our thoughts.
When you start to fall in love with someone, you might find yourself feeling more altruistic than usual, says Hekster. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today.
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